At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
