THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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