Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Randomize
