I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize