So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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