Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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