just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you would pick up someone in the library
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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