glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
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Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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