Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize