just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
