I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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