Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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