But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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