I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
