i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize