Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Shame - the story of my life.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
