You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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