dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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