Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
