my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
