Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're too hungover to prance.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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