I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
