Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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