I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
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Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
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She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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