My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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