From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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