we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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