So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
