I could have mohawked her pubes.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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