I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize