she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Well I just put wine in my tea
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Damn victory sex feels great
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
