Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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