Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
