Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
