i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
