i need an iv and a liver transplant
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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