Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
