In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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