he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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