My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
