This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I smell like Dick and happiness
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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