i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize