What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
