But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize