dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
