you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
organizing the empties. That sober.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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