you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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