I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
