I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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