...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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