and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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