Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He better not be in your backpack
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize