He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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