you guys were way drunker than both of me
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
