very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
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I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
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We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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