Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
