Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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