he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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